Did you know that the performer who gets invited to sing The National Anthem at the Super Bowl earns $100,000 for those three minutes? If you look at some of the big names who have filled the spot, it’s easy to see why. They’re big earners, and the Super Bowl is one of the most commercialized events on television.
Enter Oliver Anthony. The meager farmer from South of Richmond isn’t a big name, and he doesn’t want to be. So when the Director of Entertainment for the Super Bowl, Joe Barron, asked him if he’d solo the song with his guitar, he was astounded.
“I immediately accepted. I have a beautiful version I play,” said Oliver, “but then he started talking about money. The look on his face when I told him I’d only do the song for free was priceless.”
“I didn’t understand at first,” said Barron, “but then it kicked in. This guy loves his country, and he won’t sell out to sing its anthem. I respect that.” We all do.
ALLOD Forensic Journalisticator Tara Newhole looked into the rumors and discovered that they were absolutely true. “Yeah, he’s gonna play the song,” she said, “and he was dumb enough to turn down the money. There are three food banks in his podunk county that could have benefited from the donation, but it’s best for him to not take any cash at all.”
Our economics department believes that allowing the NFL to keep that money will likely be advantageous to everyone, as soon as it begins trickling down, which should be any minute now.
God bless you and your patriotism, Oliver, and God Bless America.
For the owner of “dunning-kruger-times.com”–you take it up the ass . You especially have a sore spot for potatoes–not the “taters” you ridicule–but the big tuber that satifies your sick bullshit. Fuck off and die.