Recent reports claim that after President Trump claimed that Hurricane Dorian was heading toward Alabama erroneously, he doctored a weather map with a Sharpie marking pen to pretend that he wasn’t ridiculously wrong.  Freedom Fictions has researched this claim, and has determined that it is :

The claim was made by various news organizations including CNN, MSNBC, FOX, ABC, CBS, NBC, the AP Newswire, and Sam the Eagle, the Muppet who hosts the news program on Sesame Street.  While much of the detail is true, including that Trump can barely tell a map of the southern United States from an X-ray of his herpes-infested midsection and that his ego is more fragile than Samuel Jackson in “Unbreakable”, the President did not, in fact use a Sharpie marker.

We contacted White House Supply Supervisor Kamen Hermouth, who assured us that after much of the supply budget had been transferred to costs to cover constructing penis-like “humps” in all of Vice President Mike Pence’s office chairs, the markers used are cheaper Chinese knockoffs: “Fun Write Make Fruit Explosion!” brand.

Many Chinese people use them to disguise their female children as housepets to preserve family honor.

Remember to always check your source, and please feel free to donate whatever money you possibly can to Freedom Fictions so that we can continue to keep you up to date on what’s fiction – and what’s freedom.


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