Was Malia Obama “busted” for selling White House trinkets she stole while she lived there? Our fact-checking team looked into the allegations and after some careful consideration of the facts and alt-facts involved, we have to rate the claim absolutely true.

Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s actually true. It means we want it to be true and enough people have wished it to be true that we have no choice but to add it to Malia’s nefarious resume of not actually getting arrested or expelled from Harvard. Our system of rating the claim is simple.

First, we read the original article, which comes from another website on this very network, America’s Last Line of Defense. We determined that while the pictures and descriptions of the items stolen are a bit ridiculous, there is no proof that they didn’t exist or that they were never stolen, unless you check in the real world. That’s not something that matters to us at all.

So if you consider that we want it to be true, and you want it to be true, then it is most definitely true, what other proof do you need? As far as we’re concerned, the loss of Nancy Reagan’s yoga pants is a tragedy that could have been avoided, and the millions Malia Obama made in an alternate version of reality is abhorrent.

So, true it is, patriots. There’s no need to read those silly Facebook third-party fact-checks at this point. They’re just gonna tell you what the liberals want to hear, which is the truth regardless of the misleading, alternate facts available. Don’t buy into the hype.


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