Former NCAA swimmer Lia Thomas says she’s had it with the United States. “Everyone is just so hateful,” she said in an interview with Media Matters, “They won’t stop calling me ‘he/him.'”

Thomas will, instead, head to Montreal, Canada, or Paris, France, which are well-known sanctuaries for people looking to escape the US with their alternative lifestyles.

“I’m leaning toward Montreal because I don’t want to have to learn a new language,” said Thomas, “I’m not really sure how to say ‘she’ in French.”

French spokesman, Joe Barron, says the language isn’t really so much concerned with whether or not one person can properly use pronouns, but how the comment section might react.

“Typically, when someone posts about Thomas, they use her preferred pronouns, because really…who cares? Then the replies happen, which are predictably bigoted. Like clockwork. French isn’t completely convinced that the trend won’t continue, and the last thing we want is for the new caps lock rage word to be ‘LUI!'”

It’s true, patriots. Whenever we write these things we make sure to use her preferred pronouns out of respect and a little bit of “yeah who cares” and those posts get an incredible amount of engagement, which is extremely profitable. And hilarious.

So don’t hold back! We want to hear those cringy rage replies! God Bless America


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