Recently, news broke of Michelle Obama’s shopping trip to Target where she was seen wearing what was described as Mary Todd Lincoln’s missing earrings. It was said that the jewels had been stolen from the Lincoln bedroom while the Obamas lived in the White House.

After much review and investigation, we give this article a rating of:


While there was zero evidence that this event actually took place, and the poorly photoshopped pictures provide zero indication that the events actually happened, we still rate this one true. It’s about the Obamas, and it’s bad, so, therefore, it has to be true.

Further evidence provided in the original story written on our sister site is a photograph supposedly of Mary Todd Lincoln. Even though Lincoln was a fairly homely woman and the photo below is obviously from more recent years, people believed this was actually Mary Todd Lincoln wearing the same earrings as Michelle Obama during her trip to Target (which actually did happen, during the Obama presidency, and not recently, that we know of).

Nonetheless, this picture that is not of Mary Todd Lincoln proves that Michelle Obama stole those earrings. Period. End of story.

Not Mary Todd Lincoln.

It’s really terrible that the Obamas continue to get away with wearing and selling items that never existed that they never stole from the White House. They are just a merry band of criminals pedaling all kinds of stolen relics on the black market because clearly they need some cash. Or, in this case, Michelle just really liked how those earrings looked. We don’t really know. Nonetheless, this is true. She took Mary Todd Lincoln’s earrings, as pictured in the picture that isn’t Mary Todd Lincoln.

Yay, facts!


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