Recently, it was reported on our sister site that the former Sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, died at the age of 89.  Many people, including Mr. Arpaio himself, disputed this claim.  Naturally, Freedom Fictions was the first to seriously investigate this claim.

We gave our research team a 2-liter of Mountain Dew and a party size bag of Crunchy Cheetos and let them get to work. Their exhaustive process revealed that Arpaio has a collection of fake newspapers and has prerecorded several messages in an attempt to convince the viewers of the messages that he is, in fact, still alive.

Nevertheless, after exhaustive research, we have concluded that:

he dead

Joe Barron, lead fact-checker, explained:

“You can see in the video that it took multiple takes to get it right. Normally, Arpaio is a very angry man and comes across like that. In the video, he just looked tired, as if he had done dozens of recordings on the day that he did this one. He also holds up a newspaper but expects to viewer to believe that it was that day’s paper.

Obviously, on the day he shot that video he was alive. That day was definitely not May 19.  But now, we know he is dead.”

Reports were confirmed that David Duke and Pamela Geller did attend Arpaio’s funeral under cover of darkness to perpetuate the ‘Sheriff Joe is still alive’ hoax.  They were nearly able to maintain the illusion that Arpaio was still alive through well-coordinated means of plausible deniability.

This plan was blown up when a reporter asked President Trump if he was going to endorse the former sheriff, the President responded, “I saw on Twitter that he posted a link to an article that said he died.  So no. I prefer sheriffs who didn’t die.”


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