The Claim : A self-styled “writer” for the dubiously satirical Facebook page “America’s Last Line of Defense” reported the death of actor and musician Bruce Willis on Sunday from behind the counter at his dreary job in SmellyAss, Florida.

We at Freedom Fictions have dissected the tale from back to front, top to bottom, and zygote to Trumper and found the entire thing to be:

Mr. Willis, whose real name is not “Bruno”, but Englebert Bruce Wimple, is completely still alive.  There are many interesting details in the original report, such as the common passing of the name “Sandra Batt”, which identifies this and other articles as satire, and the very existence of “BrotherBlumpkin” Arizona.

Brotherblumpkin is a town in southern Oklahoma.

Willis is currently in Hollywood, California, as one might suspect, shooting a few new films where he will stand perfectly still, have three lines badly acted, and yet make the feature’s premiere poster.

Willis is not in the best condition, with the advent of Aphasia, a disease that drastically interferes with communication and understanding.  He is still willing, however, very many amateur crappy movie producers have realized, to stand there and breathe for a couple of million dollars at a time.  Good job.



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