Were Sasha and Malia Obama Arrested Together ‘For The First Time?’

In or around August of 2019, a well-known publication in right-wing circles put out a story declaring that the Obama sisters were arrested together “for the first time.” What we found, however, is that the entire story was fabricated.

Our man in the newsroom, Samuel L. Adams, no relation to either, ensures us that the entire story is a lie and that the Obama sisters have — in fact — been arrested many times before, the media just hid it from us:

“The website that reported this obvious lie is a known liberal troll operation. It’s their job to take an arrest like this and make it look lik it was no big deal and that it was a one-time thing. The truth is far darker.

We have reports that these girls have been arrested for everything from trafficking in bloogies and bootlegs of Avengers movies to a network of “tutors” at Harvard and Sasha’s old high school that ‘helps kids get better grades and get into better schools.’

It’s complete BS. So a few kids get tutored. We suspect there’s more to it. We can’t prove it yet, but when we do…man. Those girls are going down hard. Heh. Heh heh. That’s what she said.”

Hahaha great report, Sam see you on the flipside, brother! Anyway, it’s time for our official rating. Since this is most definitely not a satire piece because if it was it would probably say so somewhere, we’re gonna go ahead and rate this mostly false. We’re not sure why it isn’t just completely false other than our willingness to leave the door open to new possibilities.

Fact-checking sure has changed. Opinions rock. Liberals want you to believe that opinion shouldn’t matter in these things. Well…I’ll tells you what, snowflakes…We know of about a half-million potatriots who wish this was true. That’s good enough for us.

About Flagg Eagleton 23 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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