The Claim : legendary conservative talk show host and recipient of the Medal of Freedom passed away from complications of cancer at the age of 70 on Wednesday, February 17th. He was surrounded by family and friends in an official Kiss coffin, surrounded by MyPillows for his eternal rest, and was decapitated to ensure his continued stillness in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Freedom Fictions has researched these reports and done absolutely no due diligence and found the story of the bloviator’s ticker snapping to be :
In an attempt to perpetrate a “death hoax” for an internet page known as “Conservativetears.com” with the intent to “troll” or derive pleasure from the inherent gullibility of the trumptarded, a viral “sarirical” article described the drug-addict’s death in details too crazy to be true.
An excerpt by an author identified as “Sandy Batt” shows a definite bias and comedic slant :
Limbaugh had been in failing health for the last several months as the cancer he’d been stricken with became even more aggressive in its attempt to shut his pudgy lying mouth hole up forever. Thankfully on Wednesday, it finally won over, leaving his moon-shaped corpse as empty of life as Donald Trump’s rotting ballsack. His funeral will be held at some point in the coming month at Disneyland, so it can continue to be the Happiest Place in the World.
In reality, when we called Limbaugh’s phone number, the line was answered by a “friend” identifying himself by the first name “Adolf.” Adolf confirmed in heavily German-accented English that he was very close to the conservative pundit during the call, and he would be “taken good care of” for a long long time.
It may seem funny to convince the poorly educated and terribly gullible of ridiculous death hoaxes, knowing they’re far too stupid to read the article. But that’s why Freedom Fictions exists. Please donate any bottle caps you may have in the sink to Snopes before they piss themselves over there.