FACT CHECK : False, Hunter Biden Never Had a Drug Problem

NOPE.

THE CLAIM : Son of Vice President Joe Biden, Hunter, had a long-standing drug problem that may have contributed to criminal activity.

A recent article by non-accredited tabloid source The New York Post contends that he purchased a laptop computer, took it into a repair shop two weeks after it was produced, and forgot about it in a drug-induced haze, leading to the reveal of emails that he for some reason downloaded onto the hard drive.

We at Freedom Fictions have studied the source, story, evidence, and circumstance of this tale and found it to be a completely obvious load of shit full of holes bigger than the ones in Trump’s underpants.

However, as an aside, we have found the claim that Hunter Biden himself had a “drug problem,” is completely:

Joe Barron, a former producer of the cocaine used for Trump White House party hors-de-ouvres as well as Cadbury Creme Eggs contends that he’s read several times that Hunter had no problem at all with doing drugs.  None.

A drug addiction of the past, however, doesn’t explain a nearly cartoonish fairy tale into realism.  I don’t care how much cocaine you’re on, you’re not going to travel 3000 miles to get a laptop fixed.

And why would you, if you were a millionaire and could just buy another one?  Raise you hand also if you’ve managed to figure out how to post on Facebook while all cranked up, let alone download a bunch of emails.

“DOWNLOAD EMAILS??? BWAH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!”

In conclusion, our fictional fact check finds the entire story of the Brotherhood of the Travelling Laptop about as real as either one of first lady Melania Trump’s plastitits.

It’s not a real benefit to the ludicrous fable that the so-called “repairman” is a trumptard and professional 4th stooge Rudy Guliani is involved.

This is why it is, and deserves to be treated as, another incompetent attempt at slander from the teabagger right.

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