FACT CHECK : No, Trump Wasn’t Thinking of Buying Greenland

MORE LIBERAL JUNK NEWS!

The claim: Word was leaked to the media that President Trump was interested in “buying” the country of Greenland.  After extensive research, we have rated this story :

The tale was originally leaked to the Daily Teabagger by an unknown White House source, but after a bit of digging, we found the truth from White House intern Howie Feltersnach:

“So one day, I think it was Tuesday, he’s all grumpy, rambling about how much he misses whores.  That’s what he kept saying over and over and then he says ‘F*** it, I’m just gonna nuke China’.  Well, we don’t need him doing that, so I just came up with : ‘You know, there’s a whole LAND of whores.  Whoreland.  You should buy it for yourself and just quit and go live there forever.  With the whores.’  He totally bought it.  He asked me to show him where this ‘Whoreland’ was, and I just vaguely pointed at a map.  I guess he saw Greenland.  I mean, the guy doesn’t know Greenland from a wart on his ass anyway.  So he was really looking to buy Whoreland.”

Speaking of Whoreland, this is Ann Coulter’s house in Florida. Fact.

Feltersnach said that the President was so upset with the erroneous news coverage that he destroyed an oval office restroom through sheer forced explosive defecation.  Freedom Fictions has once again brought you the facts.  Please donate to our cause instead of Snopes.  They’ll just call it “Junk money.”

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