Reports of a bag of cocaine found at the White House have piqued the interest of people following the curious case of Hunter Biden.

According to at least one source online, Biden was in the Presidential Library where the cocaine was found just hours before, telling staff he needed a “quiet place to use his laptop.”

Inquiries to the Secret Service itself have been unsuccessful as of yet but based on the witness testimony and corroborating evidence, we can say that Hunter Biden is, without a doubt, a suspect.

The first witness is Joe Barron, the Door Dash driver who brings kabobs to the West Wing every day for those on the Meditteranean Diet. “In the past three years I’ve leaked four stories that all turned out to be almost true,” said Barron, “which gives me a credible track record.”

Barron says no fewer than three staffers were laughing about the cocaine and openly making jokes about Hunter as though he was a national figure with a history of addiction who would naturally warrant that sort of thing from anyone with a slightly dark sense of humor. Look, I made this:

Whether you believe Biden is the culprit or not, patriots, the meme is still funny AF. God bless America.


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