The “Rainbow Soldiers” aboard a US Navy ship during the National Anthem wasn’t the Super Bowl’s idea, and it wasn’t the Navy’s idea. Just hours before the shooting, the Commander in Chief called the Secretary of the Navy and demanded the columns of colorful uniforms personally.

You heard that correctly, patriots. The President of the United States ordered men and women in uniform to display “pride” on the deck of a Navy destroyer.

“I wasn’t aware he could do that,” said Admiral Joe Barron, Joint Chief of Staff, “we’ve gone out of our way already to accept the gays. I have no idea why they need to be celebrated.”

The White House says it wasn’t about celebration as much as it was inclusion. “Hey look, “said Biden, “There are as many gay people as redheads. We don’t make the gingers hide,”

Leave it to Biden to turn something into a thing he can sniff. For the record, redheads do tend to smell wonderful.

“I was okay with it,” said Captain Art Tubolls, “I’m a little bit gay myself, so I volunteered for a purple shirt. I get some interesting looks from my men now, and more phone numbers than I know what to do with. It is the Navy, after all.”

It was wrong was what it was, patriots. There’s no need for that kind of wokeness in today’s professional sports. God Bless America.

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