Nobody will hire Stormy Daniels.

According to industry insiders, the actress has become detached from reality over the past few years, making her insufferable on set.

“She thinks she’s the most famous star in our business,” said Vivid CEO Joe Barron, “she’s also a bit long in the tooth for the industry.”

On top of that, those who have worked with her in the past say she’s very rude, especially if she’s “not satisfied.”

Daniels, whose alleged affair with Donald Trump made her an internationally-recognized figure, has also been criticized for her work standards.

“A lot of us did a lot of questionable things back in the day,” said the legendary Jenna Jameson, “but taking a private appointment with that douchebag? He’s on the sex workers’ blacklist since 1982.”

In an effort to find out if there was any credibility to the claim, we tried to book appointments with current stars, as well as a few recent retirees, and were both laughed at and hung up on, with zero positive results.

That has nothing to do with Stormy, however, who is a mean individual nobody will hire. She’s worth $6 million, so according to uber-rich people on a fictional television show, she’s phucked. And not in a way that will get her some work.

That’s what happens when you challenge the most influential man in history, patriots. God Bless America.

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