Alyssa Milano’s production company, Woke Enterprises Today, said it won’t continue pursuing a reboot of the famous 1970s sitcom “Three’s Company” after it bombed with every network.

The new show was slated to star three trans women, all of whom may have been drag queens when they were men. “We can’t figure out which one is Jack,” said ABC Producer Joe Barron, “and if the one on the left is Chrissy, how will we ever find a suitable Mr’s Roper?

The show was supposed to be set in San Fransisco, where this sort of thing probably seems normal. Unfortunately, the city wanted $170 million upfront, meaning the inevitable switch to Vancouver. After careful consideration, the networks all declined, one by one, until the only one left was MSNBC.

“Yeah no,” said CNN CEO Art Tubolls, “This is about the lowest of the low-hanging fruit reboot stories thus far. You should have stuck with Roseanne. And what the hell happened to politics? It’s like The Enquirer for inbred boomers these days.”

Tubolls is still bitter that we can’t off Hillary once a week and award Kyle Rittenhouse more cash for his troubles. It’s tough being a journalisticator in today’s United States.

In other news, we may have tracked down Tracy Gold. God Bless America.

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