News that Roseanne Barr has won control of “The Conners” has the cast wondering what direction she plans to go. They’ve already resurrected Dan once; would it be impossible to claim she faked her own death and fled to Norway for a few years?

It’s TV, folks. Nothing is impossible. According to John Goodman, he’s all for it. “I’m excited that she’s back, whether it’s as a director, producer, or cast member. We always got along great.”

The rest of the cast, a bunch of liberal lefties, will most likely quit or demand no-contact orders. “It might be okay if she just owns it and collects a paycheck,” said Sarah Gilbert, “But if she’s back on set? Buh bye.”

Goodman says the cast has had a hard time moving past her character flaws. “When someone is overtly racist and welcomes extremist ideologies, the time to abandon them has passed,” he said, “I think there’s hope that she’ll grow some empathy if she’s around all these lesbians.”

It’s uncertain yet what role she’ll play, if any, or if she’ll continue the show at all. “I might just take my $208 million, scrap the show, and go do something else.” She said she’d definitely take Goodman with her.

 

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