Pictures on the internet claim to show conservative superstar Kyle Rittenhouse snowboarding and in the hospital after an accident:

After careful examination and follow-ups with the authorities in South Lake Nimronacsisant Wyoming, the ALLOD fact-checking team certifies these photos as true, real, and authentic.

Rittenhouse was in South Lake Nimronacsisant for snowboarding lessons with Tony Hawk when he collided with another snowboarder, dealing both of them serious head injuries. Rittenhouse was put in a medically-induced coma to release the swelling and, miraculously, walked out of the hospital with little more than a black eye and a 4″ scar where they removed the common sense center of his frontal lobe. The incident occurred in 2018, two years before he killed two people in Kenosha.

The pictures were easy to verify. The snowboarder could be Rittenhouse or any number of basic pudgy white dudes, but we were able to pinpoint that it was him from a police report earlier that day. A man identified as Rittenhouse wearing the same color pants allegedly helped beat up a girl at the lodge before the lifts opened. He was found innocent and they let him go.

The hospital pic looks a lot like him, and we know he was there, and really, does it matter? It’s him, patriots. We’re on the case. You’re welcome to click one of the neat little surveys about how much you hate Brandon and move on.

 

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