It’s a well-established fact that after Kathy Griffin’s little publicity stunt on Twitter, he filed enough lawsuits against her to sink an aircraft carrier. And why not? What will cost her everything is nothing but pocket change for Musk. A new story, however, claims that Musk lightened up a bit after Griffin begged him not to “sue the pants off of her,” as the saying goes.

After careful investigation, we rate this claim as TRUE.

Elon Musk isn’t a monster, and he made his point. So he graciously dropped the lawsuits, but it wasn’t free. Griffin still had to pay for her indiscretions. According to sources inside the situation, Griffin was also required to offer Musk two items she considered personally valuable, regardless of their financial worth. “I like to own people emotionally,” Elon once told Business Insider.

Our source, who may or may not have first-hand knowledge of the deal, says Griffin handed over a glass Christmas ornament that says “Boobs” on it that was a joke gift from Gilda Radner and a macaroni necklace her daughter made her in the 2nd grade. “I kinda feel like I’m in an episode of Supernatural,” said Griffin, “and Elon Musk is a crossroads demon.” Musk denies using the objects to collect Griffin’s soul.

There you have it, patriots. The saga of Kathy and Elon is over. Because we started it. So yeah.


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