After an embarrassing episode with Elon Musk, Tesla, and a Volkswagon that ended up catching fire, actress Alyssa Milano found herself short on support — as well as work.

Milano took to Twitter to cry like a baby to her fans and ask for emotional support because, as she put it, “nobody will hire me.”

The details of the story haven’t changed since its initial publishing on America’s Last Line of Defense, because the story is 100 percent authentic and true.

TRUE: Alyssa Milano Cried Like a Baby on Twitter Because Nobody Will Hire Her

Milano now faces at least a year before she’ll work again, since the Hollywood elite are already nose-deep in their awards season. “She’ll have to try again in 2024,” said Matt Damon, who says he’d leave his wife for Milano in a heartbeat, “I just wish she’d come to her senses and meet me in Southy. I’d pay her to put on a British accent and play Minnie Driver’s role in GWH. She’s so much hotter.”

Milano refused our request for comment but is currently on Mastadon accepting friend requests. Her therapist says she should be right as rain and ready to start protesting things any day now, so that’s good. Maybe next time, Ms. Milano, you’ll think before you speak.


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