Ex-Hollywood sweetheart Alyssa Milano says she’s unemployable, and it’s all everyone else’s fault but hers. “Hollywood has always been sexist,” she said, “so I’m not really surprised.”

Milano’s issues began when she stepped out of her role as an actress and decided to be an activist. As one of the chief instigators of the #metoo movement, Milano’s antics had good men like Bret Kavanaugh answering for their disgusting behavior in college, long before their current stations in life.

“I got into Yale,” said Kavanaugh, “and that little brat thinks she can #metoo me with some girl nobody really wanted anyway? I’m embarrassed for her.”

Milano says the Hollywood elite have all turned on her now and that because she’s still smokin’ hot at 50, she can’t get a job anywhere. “They know I’m not going to sleep with them,” she said, and they’re really mad about it.”

Spokesman for the Hollywood Acting Women’s Treaty, Joe Barron, says the organization has expelled Milano for her comments, citing Harvey Weinstein’s ouster from the community as the main reason it is no longer sexist.

“I’m not really understanding what she’s talking about,” said Barron, “she hasn’t applied for any jobs.” Milano refused our requests for comment and sent another copy of the restraining order.

Looks like it might be her own fault again. The poor thing. God Bless America.


  1. Debi Presley

    She’s a pompous, trifling, squeeze box who’s had her cherry popped by more than one producer. No one wants to sleep with you, you little narcissist, they’d rather hang you upside down until your tiny brain explodes. Do you wake up everyday seeking attention? Can you not get through a day without lusting after perceived fame? You’re such a little desperate piece of egomaniac.

    • Intelligent Person

      OMG, Dunning-Krueger is rampant. Damn, y’all will believe anything and then make really awful comments.

      • PhatMikeMedia

        Not much of an intelligent person go kiss the ground narcissist bitch walks on you pansy kiss ass oh wait, that’s right I forgot if it’s dealing with anybody that’s part of your work group you all can never be wrong but everybody else’s but yet where is your fax because we don’t ever see you all pulling up any real facts and you want to talk about shit being false where is your proof? Your accusation is not evidence retard

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